Vignettes of Conversation

I did not have more than two shots of tequilas this weekend. Given my history of weekend binges, this one was sedate by all accounts. But given a choice to relive any of the three weekends that I spent in Gurgaon, this one wins hands down.

That is because you called up. Then you too called up. Funny isn't it; that one person can affect you so much? After a combined phone conversation amounting to 75 minutes - given that we both grunt our news to each other and hang up - I was giddy with happiness. The simple fact that someone calls you up, and talks to you can affect you so much. Yes, it is a scary state to be in, but the highs you get are amazing.

A few days back, I was discussing this with a friend of mine. " Why do I feel so emotional when it comes to my personal life? Why do I become paranoid and crazy when someone doesnot talk to me?? How can I allow others to affect my life so much?? I wish I was as cool and collected in my personal life as in my professional life."

"But why??? Granted, it hurts a lot and it drives you crazy. But then, doesn't it also make you happy? Unless you feel the sadness, how will you feel the joy?"

True. Very True.

Now cut to another conversation. We were talking about a common friend who had to undergo some emotionally hard times. So my friend asks me:

"But why are girls so stupid??"

"Girls are generally stupid when it comes to love."

A Pause.

"Even me."


Cut to another conversation.

"I dont know what I am doing. I am acting like a 14 year old!!"

"It's good that you realize that you are acting like one. And stop being such a drama queen! It's not the end of the world, you know!"

Yup, it is not. And I know it. But it still makes me better when you spell it out to me.


Gurgaon Vignettes

Friend, on the way to a dinner invitation : "We can call this our rural stint. There are just malls and nothing else here!"

Malls are the magic lamps of Aladdin in Gurgaon. Your basic needs like food, sprits, movies, clothes, jewelries etc. would be provided for in these wonderlands. If you want something beyond these, buddy, best of luck!

Evenings are earmarked for passive smoking. Yup, you heard it right. Having a lot of friends who smoked in the past as an alternative to breathing has made me a passive smokaholic. So much so that like a plant searching out sunlight and moving towards it, I position myself in the best advantageous position to get a whiff of smoke.

I have earmarked my weekends for socializing. Till now, I have socialized with Signora Tequila and Mr. Whiskey. Mr. Cut from Wills Navy also made an appearance. I guess there were some homo sapiens around. I also remember shooting off some drunken mails to some of my friends, which would explain the fact that they have not passed me their new mobile numbers yet.

The other day a friend who has a taste in books called up. He almost had a stroke when I told him that I was then reading the tabloid pages of TOI.

However my company, in it's infinite wisdom, decided to save me from the scorn of my intellectually snobbish friends - "What?? So now you may as well as start reading Sidney Shelton and Mills and Boons! What happened to you??" - and send me to the land of sprawling libraries, rabindra sangeet and second hand bookshops.

City of joy, here we are to meet again!


My philosophy - in terms of Matrix

Neo: "How about I give you the finger... and you give me my phone call." - idea of bargaining

Morpheus: "Time is always against us. Please, take a seat there." - how I approach work

Neo: "I know Kung Fu." - 3 year old cousin
Morpheus: "Show me." - Me

Morpheus: "Don't think you are, know you are" - guiding principle of life

Morpheus: "Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me." - to cousins when fighting with them

Cypher (about his drink): "It's good for two things, degreasing engines and killing brain cells." - :)

Agent Smith: "Never send a human to do a machine's job." - about mom's computer skills

Agent Smith: "You are a plague, and we are the cure." - cousins before a nasty fight

Trinity: "No one has ever done anything like this." - project work
Neo: "That's why it's going to work." - ignorance or hope. your choice

Agent Smith: "Why isn't this serum working?" - mom tryin to communicate with me
Agent Brown: "Perhaps we're asking the wrong questions." - dad

Agent Smith: "You're empty." - mom
Neo: "So are you." - me

Agent Smith (hearing the coming subway): "Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability." - on a phone ringin during dinner

Niobe: "A strategy is still being formulated." - project work
Morpheus: "I'm sure it is." - yeah, right.

Neo: "Hmm. Upgrades." - about cell phone

Lock: "Goddamnit, Morpheus! Not everyone believes what you believe!" - me
Morpheus: "My beliefs do not require them to." - mom

Lock: "If it were up to me, Captain, you wouldn't set foot on a ship for the rest of your life." - me
Morpheus: "Then I am grateful that it is not up to you." - mom

Cas (to Link about Zee): "You be careful with her, huh?" - mom to me when Im with my little cousin
Zee: "Don't worry about me, he's the one that's gonna get it." - cousin to himself

Morpheus: "Tonight let us shake this cave! Tonight let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone! Let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember. This is Zion! And we are not afraid!" - wetnite!

Bane: "Oh God." -students
Smith: "Smith will suffice." - Fr. Paul

Oracle: "What do all men with power want? More power." - on Kerala ministry division

Neo: "Why are you here?" - me
Oracle: "Same reason. I love candy." -mom

Merovingian: "Who has time? Who has time? But then if we do not ever take time, how can we ever have time?" - Mintu

Merovingian: "I love the French language.... fantastic language, especially to curse with... it's like wiping your arse with silk" - me

Morpheus: "Everything begins with choice." - dad
Merovingian: "No. Wrong. Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without." -mom

Merovingian (about Neo stopping the bullets): "Okay, you have some skill. Kill him." - mom, about me.

Merovingian: "Goddammit woman, you will be the end of me." - dad to mom

Guard 1 (to another dozing guard): "Hey! You count sheep at home." - mom
Guard 2: "Why, I get paid to count 'em here." - union worker

Neo: "Choice, the problem is choice." - me

Architect: "Denial is the most predictable of all human responses." - dad

Merovingian: "You will find I lack the virtues of both tolerance and patience." me and mom

Smith: "I am the Alpha of your Omega. I am the beginning of your end." - corny freak in Orkut.

Au Revoir!

As I get ready to move from inertness to activity tomorrow, here is a thank you note to all those TV channels and shows which kept me occupied through the better part of two months. Without much ado, here is my honor call:

Reality Shows:

Name: My big fat obnoxious fiancée

Theme: About two people trying to get married. However, unknown to the girl, the guy and his family are all actors hired by the show. She has to get her strict all American parents for the wedding.

Glee time: When the groom’s dad [a hired actor] ostensibly take off his undies when he and his family is in a swimming pool with the girl n groom. Her face! Oh my God… her face!!!

Name: America’s next top model

Theme: A set of model wannabes try to survive through weeks of sass of Tyra Banks.

Glee time: When Tyra & the judges pass their comments on the candidates’ snaps.

Name: Beauty & the Geek

Theme: A set of PYT’s and Mensa members are paired up and have to teach each other social skills n rocket science.

Glee time: When the ugliest guy among the group said about him and his partner: “We have chemistry here. Sparks are gonna fly.” Where is your sense of reality dude???

Name: The Cut

Theme: wannabe fashion gurus vie with each other to suck up to Tommy Hilfiger

Glee time: When they run to get the stuff right.

Name: American Idol

Theme: don’t tell me you don’t know!

Glee time: Whenever Taylor Hicks was on stage.


Desperate housewives. Yeah! Show them crazy, nasty, dizzy and paranoid!

Friends: Awwwwwww………..

Comedy Inc.: nice show!

PS: Thanks macha, for introducing me to reality shows through Survivor series.

PPS: Bye bye TV. I am gonna miss you. L

PPPS: This thrash post was influenced to a great extent by my fever. Excuse!



Why do you act and feel like a preschooler when you are with your parents?

Why do your grandparents think of you as a baby in a cradle?

How can you enjoy the rains as much as you want anywhere else in the world, but a 3 minute exposure to the rains at home leave you with viral fever?

How come your grandparents are masteros of passive aggressive behavior?

Is it my moms method of oneupmanship - inviting my parents home so that they would irritate me to the core when I constantly remain nice and smiling towards them - [ instead of shouting matches as I have with my mom ] and end up with a migrane?

How come my aadoptee cat [ he adopted me ]knows the exact time I step outside my flat?

Am I going to turn up like my mom and - horrors of horrors - grand mom? Now I understand why a friend told that you should die before 50. Else, there is a very good chance of getting killed or being the reason for other people's nervous breakdowns.

How come the more closer I am to my departure date, the more closer me and my mom get to each other?

When is my fever gonna end?

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