Desperate Lives

There is nothing like having a guest from outside to see your state with clarity. Having played host to a fried of mine from the neighboring Tamland, I now sit here, to look back on the visit.

The primary facet of the Mallu psyche which had my friend shocked, disgusted and furious were.... you guessed it, the Mallu men.

Now, I am not a man hater. Neither is she. We both have men as our best friends, and have quite a large collection of male friends. Women are a distinct minority in our friendship circles.

Maybe, that is the reason which led to so much of outrage. Having so many men treat you good has led to a false sense of security, which was abused by strategic revealing of 'mundu' [ a long, skirt type cloth of mallu men which help them from a quick pee to a quick fuck ] to reveal their excitement in seeing us, to invitation to their beds, to abuse, to lewd gestures, to a not so friendly 'hai' 'hello' of total strangers, to men literally putting their head out to ogle at us.

Now, we are no nymphs. We are plain women, who do not merit even a second look outside kerala. But the depressed libodos of the male mallu transformed us to beauties. Oh well.....

However, the desperateness of these guys - whom we christened as DMMs : desperate Mallu Males - also affect us in other ways. Because of them, we are not allowed to go out after 6 pm. A dinner, a trip to the beach, the freedom to wear a short sleeved top than my nightshirt when I venture out home, the freedom to travel in the local bus - all these are debated upon, or outright prohibited by my parents because of the DMMs. I am not blaming them. A father hearing comments like " Heh... you came to guard them eh?? Amazing goods..." in the Kovalam beach will be psyched. Will be afraid. Will be paranoid.

Please do not think that I am bitching about Mallu men. I am not. I am not forgetting those friends who came with me in the middle of the night so that I could attend my first job interview which led to my first job. Those friends who told me about MBA. Those friends who took me around bangalore and showed me the sights of the city. Thise who readily gave me a lift at many places.

I am also bitching about the lady living in the ground floor, who called the guy who lives in the first floor a man of loose morals because he invited a gal pal of his over to his flat - horrors of horrors! - alone. My parents were the only ones who opposed the allegations amongst all the families in the complex- may be because I too have a lot of friends.

Kerala is God's own country, but infiltrated by devils. I hope that the new government teach girls some martial arts and choice abuses in schools to defend themselves from DMMs. desperate and outrageous suggestion, yes, but the situation there is also pretty desperate and filthy.

Talking about the new elections, I am proud of the Mallu electorate. Only those who tended to their constituencies won, leading to the fall of many fiefdoms. How come my state has such heightened political awareness? What is it that make us watch closely and deliver well aimed kicks which topple the thrones of power?

Then I remember: Kerala has more women than men. When men base their allegiance through unions and newspapers, women depend more on the day to day life. Water, good roads, electricity - small stuff, but the goddesses of small things make big things happen.

Again, this is an outrageous claim. But it would be nice if someone does a study on the female influence on the dynamic and comparatively dignified political scene in kerala.


Blogger raven :

looks like the gurl is having all the fun. now why would she mind if they guys had some too? :D

6:12 PM  
Blogger joyofnothing :

FYI: it exists even in TN... However it is surprising that it exists in kerala(with high social indicators) and heightened female awareness. Also wearing mundu is a crime ???.

8:30 PM  
Blogger banished soul :

nope. but i think parting it to show me his dick definitely is.

1:34 AM  
Blogger joyofnothing :

I guess when u wear the mundu, it is parted. yeah thats the style in which many tamils and mallus wear it. But only a very few might be wearing it intentially like that.
Regarding eve teasing this is what I wish to say:
If the gal is bold enough, she can give the teasers their own medicine. Now a days its pretty tough to see explicit eve teasing at chennai. either they are roughed up by the police or roughed by the gals... Have u ever taken them headon ?

4:05 AM  
Anonymous kiron :

@banished soul
shocked to see the above comment. i hope it didn't go to that extent. or is it so bad at our dear place nowadays?

btw, whatz ur take on guy friends who offer to pick you up from the railway station, but then forgetting it for the comfort of getting up late? :-S

5:00 AM  
Blogger banished soul :

@ joy : yeah, and did get hit back in return and chased thru a public road when the rest of the public acted as if this did not happen - this in my 11th std equivalent.

which utopia are you living in, by the way?

9:44 AM  
Blogger banished soul :

@ kiron : sadly, yes. and wrt your question, i think nothing that a well aimed kick cannot resolve.. :-D

9:48 AM  
Blogger Nikhil Narayanan :

Some points that u shud understand.Jus' random jottings
1)A Mundu was not "designed" for the said purposes. Yes comfort, point taken, someting that suited the climate, that might have been the idea.
2)Ladies-(old times)very never allowed a social life.
The idea of blouse was also not there till early 20th century.Something called "mulakacha"(sorry for an offensive term here, but thats what it was called) existed. That was a loose piece of cloth

So this gender divide may have arrived due to such a society.Blame the early rulers too.

Ya agree very much to the points like "not allowed to go out after 6" and that land lady thingie-keeps happening. The society is like that!!!

This "charakk kollallo" have encountered when with my female cousins.Jus ignored that time.

Reasons like joblessness and a "facade of fake conservativeness" adds up to the whole issue.

Hope times ahead will be different.

10:07 AM  
Blogger banished soul :

GB Shaw once said tht the reasonable man accepts the circumstances; but the unreasonable man questions the circumstances and tries to change them; so all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

i understand, but the things were pretty much same all around india. doesnt think tht blamin history is a valis xcuse, at the end of the day, it is YOU who make the choice. Not anyone else.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Nikhil Narayanan :

da surya
this piece was very much "un-suryastic"....prolly u were really pissed....moi sorry for what u faced...

11:41 PM  
Blogger Sandeep Sadanandan :

By the way... What percentage of the mallu males are "desperate" in your perspective? I think it wont be so huge a number. It's a pity that the minority is spoiling the image of the whole male-society of kerala.

And the funny part is this. If a female is desperate to show off ... if she wears a low-neck or body-shaped tight dress or whatever... men are actually happy about it..!! (Only if the girl is not a beloved one for them) At the same time when a male does it.... the way you find is exactly the opposite..

[yeah.. males do give some comments too which could be bad]

Women of the same class as the men who are showing off and commenting, might be enjoying it.. who knows??

5:32 AM  
Blogger Nikhil Narayanan :

Wrt to the lowneck whatever, guys in MUmbai or Pune must be drooling and making lewd remarks 24*7 if what u wrote is true....sorry beg to differ!!!

7:57 AM  
Blogger raven :

huffff!!!! boy oh boy... is a battle raging on or what?!!

keep it going gal... n in case you need support, i've got some really well built mallu friends I can send over ;)

12:09 PM  
Blogger Sandeep Sadanandan :


Sorry that I didnt put it clear..
I was just telling abt the stuff in kerala.

Bangalore, Pune etc wont come in the scope of the comment.

Here (Germany) these days I see girls almost naked.. and boys are least bothered abt that..
Was just pointing at the mallu attitude..

2:45 PM  
Blogger Manu J :


the pics [not work safe ]


10:24 PM  
Anonymous Shalini :

Looks like the blog owner is a FMG - Frustrated Mallu girl

7:29 AM  
Anonymous sapphire :

surya dont bother replying the ppl who just live in a dream land where harassment is not harassment cos it doesnt suit them.
btw thepost was brilliant :)

2:48 AM  

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