Farewell to Arms??? Naaa...

Multi tasking is channel surfing when eating chocolates and trying to translate the process into words - a.k.a; what I am doing right now.

Back South. South started when there were an abundance of mustaches. And the huge din in Chennai welcomed me back. With the scent of jasmine wafting from nowhere, the eye scorching colors of expensive kaanjeevaram saris , the exorbitant rates of the railway porters and the cheap but divine south indian food - it all welcomed the two of us back to South.

Kerala was another shock. It was green and more green everywhere, with the cashia fistulas going all yellow with no trace of green. We peek out of the door at a railway station; our streaked hair seems to send out the signal that we are fast and loose : men ogle, pass comments, and give us a once over with their eyes. For the time being, we are being classified as public property.

"Mayire... @!~&%$#Mon.. " My fellow traveler enunciates the choicest gaalis in purr-fect Malayalam. I do an English translation; if not in content, atleast in sprit. Suddenly, the men are busy, and no more snide remarks or greetings come our way.

Home. it looks smaller, especially after I had unpacked and spread the contents all over the floor. My mom looks with curiosity at the XL size jacket that I have taken with me. " A friend gave it to me.My best friend.Actually, I asked him for it." I explains.

My mom goes in for the kill. Rather, the Yearbook. I point out my close friends, the people with whom I hang out with and the ones which made a difference to my two years there. I am being closely questioned as to why I didn't write for this or that Mallu, or vice versa. WW3 to start? Nope. Remembering the Collective Bargaining classes, I see my mom as a particularly stubborn Union Leader and diverts the crisis.

But just when I had relaxed a bit...

"Who is Mintu?* "
"Friend ma."
" The one whose coat you got here? "
"yup. "
"Who is Gay?"

You asshole from Asansole, how I wanted to kick you!

Cut to next day. I take over the kitchen to fry fish, and my mom accosts me there. " Tell me dear. Do you have someone in your mind? Or can we go forth with the other guy? "

" Ma, I will marry when I find the guy to whom I want to get married to. Not before that. Not to anyone else."

"Even if you are 60? "

"No. Even if I am 90."

"Are you..? " my mom's face ashen.

" Oh for Chrissake ma! I'm not a lesbian!" See, for all the times I called you a homo, now I was branded as one by my own parents. Talk about divine humor....

So thus I sit here, footloose and fancy free.

* Name substituted by pet name.


Blogger karram :

I was wondering about the reaction to your colored hair in mallu-land. It was just what I expected it would be.

2:20 AM  
Blogger Nikhil Narayanan :

hey, waiting for a good piece from u...
write something nice na!!!

2:53 AM  
Blogger Cibot :

Soon they will marry you off to a 28 year mallu nair mba with a kudavayar...
All mallu mothers want to marry of their daughters as quickly as possible, donno why.

3:17 AM  
Anonymous AJ :

mm so Does ur number stay the same btw? hehehe I wud LUV to have seen the colored hair maire episode ROFL

5:35 AM  
Blogger iamyuva :

easy to relate too.._) i can say everyone would hv gone thru almost similar version..

recommendation for reading : fine balance, nester in sieve..._)

cheers, Yuva

8:56 AM  
Blogger the still dancer :

nicht, nicht, fraulein. Blame it on the fact that the website designer is an utter git with HTML, coupled with the fact that for some strange, inexplicable reason, his blog behaves perfectly with firefox but becomes quite the enfante terrible with ie. (I'm guessing thaat's what you'd used to browse).

9:22 PM  
Blogger Emme :

Wonder how you manage to survive in kollam with colored hair

12:26 AM  
Blogger Activity :

hi s,
tta here.

KD told me about the coloured hair and the indirect line of questioning :D

heeheeheelarious !

i take it in the future, most folks will have to fild out the preference for a partner before they go out body shopping :D


12:28 PM  

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