The not-so hidden language of Sex....

Online communities have a language of their own, especially when it comes to soliciting sex. It takes the form of seeking friendship to blatant porno sites. If you are a girl in any of the Orkut/yahoo/rediff/Ryze communities; chances are; you know what I am talking about. If not, let me refresh your memory.

Hi... wanna be friends with me? "

The most used and abused sentence online. Not that I don’t like it : many of my online friendships started that way. But potentially dangerous as may lead to a variant of the following phase.

"Are you free and frank? " : I do not know why, but the moment a guy who Ive never known in my life ask me this question 2 minutes into a conversation, I delete him from my friends list and block him. Got good reason to : one guy who used this line on me eventually starting abusing left and right. Thanks to educational events like XL-IIMC and living at a space where fuck is not a swearword, I had my revenge then and there.

And there are the IDs. Some are brutally frank. An ID like “stylish fucker” doesnot leave any doubt about your intentions and gives one the freedom to just block it out of existence. Some are subtle. But when you do reach their page, you find only gals as friends, and the scraps are all variants of either “excuse me? Do we know each other? “ or high level flirting.

One real life example, the call for friendship lead to this. This was the only thing posted on his homepage – with a list of all – and only – his gal pals.

Entry for February 23, 2006

I'm an young (only 39!) Indian (from Gods Own Country) now in Mumbai, average built, fun loving male working at senior management level.

I'm very outgoing and easy to chat up. I love to make ya happy and delighted to the core. Love peace and spread happiness!

I love food, am quite a foodie and can take ya to the best places to dine and wine. Music, movies, theatre, cooking, trekking, traveling and adventure sports are a few things that I love to do in my spare time. Am quite good at a massage if you wish! [ for those wet behind the year ‘uns, Massage parlors are euphemisms for sex parlors in some circles ]

I have short black hair (crew cut), black eyes, thick mustache and wheatish complexion.

So if you are a LADY[ so our dude is definitely male ] looking for some gr8 company and a memorable time, please mail me your details

Care to meetup and befriend me lady? You wont regret it…hi there.....am 39 single male in mumbai here ......am not into cyber ....am looking to meetup..... am fun loving and very easy going by nature[ translates to promiscuous nature ]...... no involved relationships -dont believe in it.... [ means wham bam and get the hell outta my life ]. if you need to spend some good time with a friend [ want sex ]call me..... am on YM too id is ****** if you wish to chatup and take this forward, am looking forward to….


Anonymous AJ :

DAMN there goes that idea down the drain...now I'm gonna have scrap the entire three lines I wrote on this concept and start all over again :(

bam on the nail as usual BS...

4:05 PM  
Blogger Jim :

And let's not forget the classic "I want to make friendship/frandship with you"! Such pervs...

(M. had better thank me for pimping her blog like this!)

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous :

dey.. The "Wanna be friends.." thingy with the intent you say is real blasphemy. I appreciate the post.

Hope you don't care who admires the values in a post. So let me stay anon :).

10:43 PM  

Oh ya, the liner "I want to be your friend". The best that is that almost everyone says that. What makes these lunatics feel that we are in dire need of some friend. You'r post is very true and I hate these "tresspassers" who jump in from somewhere. Good one you have here....

10:40 AM  
Blogger Ani :

You know first off when i read your blog, I thought what you faced is a classic issue(would have used 'disease') of indian women that all men are after me. Before you delete my comment and classify me as just another MCP , I agree that too many people are using too many forums to search for illicit affairs and the likes.
What drives me nuts about the entire thing is that people rarely attribute such animal behaviour to our society (which btw is so close minded about anything and everything).
As usual I have digressed from where i started so i will stop the BS here. And conclude sayin that this was a good one to read and nice to see a fellow mundakkalite sharing thoughts with the world(not stalkin u, saw ur scrap entry in emils orkut page and wondered). I so love anonymity , makes u wonder who this idiot is huh.. Cheers .

12:12 PM  
Anonymous SCSilk :

As a woman on Yahoo, I have seen this almost EVERY DAY that I am logged in.

"want to be my friend?"
"I want make sex with u" (not YOU...u....that irks me)
"do u like sex"
"r u vergin"

If I am talking to an Indian man, I can guarantee that the conversation will start with him asking about my education, then wanting to know my marital status. With non-Indian men, the conversation is the same (but leave out the CV). Once I say I am not married, it's like I am free for them and whatever they want.


I now tell non-American men online that I am married to a scientist. For the most part, they will leave me alone. Some will of course go the wrong way and ask me if I am happy with him. Ugh.

I think I will send a link to this post whenever I get one of the aforementioned questions. Thank you for posting.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Trulyparanoid :

nice post, but ani or whoever it is who commented above also has a point too.:). Am not justifying the vulgar ones, but dont categorize all those "hi, do u wanna.." as one.

9:43 AM  

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