20050619 War of Words
I have been touring like a minister during election time. Relatives, family friends, friends - you name it, I have been to it.
Generally, most of the visits are boring, barring those where I get to talk with youngsters. Else the talk usually goes like this:
Host(H) : Tea?
Me (M) : Nope. Also no coffee or milk please.
H : Milk, then? ( rushes to the kitchen without waiting for an answer)
M : Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! ( runs behind her)
Her duty as a hostess supposedly done, they talk with my parents, and the next nanosecond, I grab a book/magazine/newspaper/ticket foil - ok, may be NOT a ticket foil - and start reading.
Another headache is the " isn't she getting married? " game. I grit my teeth and bare my fangs which they mistake as a shy ( WTF?? ) smile and proudly proclaim it to my delighted mom, while I chant voodoo spells to make that person a deaf-mute.
This evidently makes my mom make another go for my marriage.
MoM: Shall I start looking for a guy?
MoM: I will get you a nice guy who doesn't drink or smoke... Or go to pubs or discos or parties...... a nice sweet boy and who is ready to settle in Kerala.
Me: No way!! ( WTF?? She is planning to get my SUCH a guy?? A nincompoop?? And Who want to settle in Kerala in the midst of 1000 people who want to tell me how to lead my life and make sure that I do it?? )
MoM: ( to dad ) Seee!!! She has stopped listening to us!!!!
Me : I am going to run away. It seems you guys are tired of me [ thanks to all the mega serials for the following dialogue ] Seems like I'm a burden to you guys.... Sniff!!
Dad : ( to MoM) Stop bugging her... She is mature enough to decide when she should marry. ( To me, so that Mom wont feel that he is siding with me) And YOU start listening to your MOM!!! You have to get married sometime you know....
Me: (meekly) Yes dad... I will dad... ( changes the TV channel)
Mom & me start the remote control war. Which I tactfully end by moving to Animal Planet or Tom & Jerry show - which we both like. The net few hours are spend oohing and aahing the dogs, cats, parakeets, leopards, tigers, fish, monkeys and horses, or laughing at Tom & Jerry; with fond reminiscences of our eight ex- official pets.
The problem with me and my mom is that we are too much like each other in our stubbornness. Mom thinks that she knows the best, I think that I do a better job at it. She is tenacious ( which helped that daughter of a 4th standard educated coolie to be a Bank Manager ) and so am I. She is talkative, and so am I, but to a lesser extent - I am my dad's kid too, I need my share of silence.
I cannot stand my mom most of the times - and she has told me too many times that she prefer the 3 year old cute baby I was to this boisterous young woman that I am to take it as a joke anymore - and she too feels the same. But we both have this fierce love for each other too. The moment someone doesn't sing my paeans my mom hisses at them like a mother cobra protecting her eggs, and the moment someone slights my mom I bare my fangs like a hungry lioness ready for the kill.
I have never answered her question to her face, but yes mom, I love you in my own special way.
And no, this doesn't mean that I will start listening to you from now on.